“You can’t put your arms around a memory” – ‘You can’t put your arms around a memory’ – Johnny Thunders

Ok, so I’ve kinda abandoned my Blog of late and as a consequence there’s probably nobody listening anyway. Listening??? Sorry, reading. In part this is due to the fact that I am exiled in Bruff for a week. Babysitting my kid sister while my Mum is on holidays in Spain. Nice for her. Less so for me. There’s not a lot to do in Bruff. Though I’ve played a hell of a lot of Championship Manager and The Sims in the last couple of days. Championship Manager couldn’t be going much better. I’m in my second season managing Limerick. First season went well, I won the First Division and reached the Munster Senior Cup final. This season though I’m currently sitting prettily on top of the Premier Division some two-thirds of the way through things and I’ve already won both the League Cup and the Munster Senior Cup. Sadly I just got knocked out in the last eight of the FAI Cup, dashing my hopes of a domestic quadruple. I would imagine that Niall, Don and possibly Bob have all made an impressed noise by now while the rest of you are scratching your heads at the last few sentences. The Sims are also going pretty well for everybody in my neighbourhood except for myself. I put myself into the game first and because I hadn’t played the game in ages I made my house way bigger than I should have with the result that I couldn’t decorate it all. So there’s still grass floors in a few rooms, I’ve only now managed to paint all the walls and I’m eating out of a microwave because I accidentally destroyed my oven when a fire started. Living in such a gloomy state means my little Sim hovers on the edge of full-blown depression (I had to sell my TV so I wouldn’t starve at one point) so promotion is a near impossibility and he keeps refusing the proposals of the hot neighbour who has her own fully-furnished house just waiting for him to move in… So that might need some work.

Anyway, my real life clearly needs a little work too because it’s starting to invert itself at such a horrible rate that I’m getting disoriented. I mean, somebody who doesn’t really care about me anymore is getting upset because I don’t think that we should hang out and somebody who apparently likes me is showing the type of distant behaviour usually associated with people who… well with people who don’t care much for me. And because I’m stuck out here in this rural purgatory I feel a bit out of the loop. Many many kudos are due to Trev for helping to keep me sane by actually ringing today and even driving out here the other day as well. Nobody else (and I mean nobody) is even answering my texts. At this rate I’m starting to wonder if they’re even delivering or if there’s been some horrible, slanderous story about me doing the rounds in civilisation that hasn’t quite made it out here yet. And hopefully it won’t because I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the warm reception my one-time townsfolk have given me these last few days. Good for them! :-p

Man, what else to say? I’ve written a bit more of Jessica Suicide, my story/book/thingy that is kinda maybe taking a little bit of shape. I’m not sleeping very well either for some unfathomable reason. I’ve had somebody else accuse me of having no ambition or short-term goals and another tell me that I’m not wasting my life (admittedly they’re probably just feeling guilty). The truth, as ever, is probably somewhere in the middle! :-D

I could go on at some length but I’m conscious of the fact that I’m only gonna run up my Mum’s phone bill so I’ll just finish up by saying that I’m still trying to just live for today. I’m bored of trying to look into the future and figure it out. It’s the here and now that’s important and overall I’m not dissatisfied with my lot (though I wanna clarify a few things before I commit to that opinion). However I’m still thinking that after Christmas it might be time for a move. I might go to Cork where I can hang out with Keith, Eanna, both Niamh’s, Katherine, Sarah, Gary and Kitt. I might go to Galway where there’s… well just Rob really but what the hell right? Or else maybe a little farther afield to London (Joanne and the Switch girls) or Glasgow (Derek and Liz). Or maybe to somewhere totally different. Might even go sprawl out at the Dad’s place in Spain for a while.

What odds on me not going anywhere though? :-/